The worst feeling I will feel,
my leave of this world is real.
Fate's pre-emptive strike
had my future sealed.
A future to look forward to.
A future I worked hard for.
The future I see drift away with my consciousness.
My reward? To bathe in my crimson lifestream.
Hoping to tell myself this is just a dream.
I forsake my gifted life, the next scene,
all to protect another's dream.
As I finish my journey, I will attest,
that I will knock on your door, to say...I did my best.

(So I figure I'll go back to doing poetry. Yea I may have been to busy for a lot of things, but I'm fighting to be the Artist Formally Known as Sephi again). My collection will primarily be stored on my Gaia profile: Sephi Hakubi)

...because I'm writing this during a golf photoshoot, stuck under the 13th hole waiting for teams to play the hole-in-one competition. Well not a lot has gone on other than work and school. I have only a speech class before I get my associate's. I'll be DJing again @fye on Sunday as well so I've also got to work on my mix. Interesting enough that Rin didn't come to bed when I woke up. I found her asleep on the couch, thought it was a late night from Halo but she made up a poster for my gig on Sunday and wrote a really nice poem on the back. It was so beautiful and thoughtful. I thought I was going to wake up cranky after only 3 hours of sleep, but no. Feeling good man.

I was asked a long time ago if I can live without the internet; I cannot prove on this entry other than my very overdue post but for those that are close to me, it was evident that I could not live without it. While I illustrate my iWithdrawl, I'll backlog on my vacation to South Florida with my folks.

Rin and I left on Wednesday, August 26 and got to my parent's house around 9:00PMish. I think I felt like I could get up and about still but was about to fall in this late night-late morning schedule. That couldn't happen that weekend as we needed to do media recording for Mizucon. There's always something that stands out about each convention that I go to, and I believe what's awesome about Mizucon are that people are wild there, and I love wild. If Mizucon was the WWE, it would be the first day of ECW when they held the One Night Stand PPV, pretty much what's done at Mizucon could get people kicked out at Kawaii Kon. Now before I get any inquiries, there was nothing illegal and very few immoral going around, but how the heck is someone going to stick a rooster on top of a wedding band and try to sell it to me as a cock-ring. Great working with the staff and nice to see Gamers Evolution Expo again after Kawaii Kon. Izumicon is about 2 months away and I have about 1 more cosplay performance to showcase there before I hang it up for a while. Yep, got to finish hitting those books.

My parents got somewhat of a good impression from Rin. They like her but I guess I'm still my mom and dad's son. I can't explain much here because people actually read this garbage. ^.^

Rin, Ester (Rin's Ball-Joint Doll), and I drove around my old hood and ventured some of the old spots. Disappointingly, there wasn't much to go to thanks to the economy and there was no one I recognize over there. We hit Gameworks at Sawgrass Mills Mall and marathoned some DDR and House of the Dead (my gun sucked). I would hope to see the old DDR league over there but people move around in 5 years, even then, I don't have it anymore. I ate at some places that I could not eat anywhere else, which is a very important goal for me while I'm down there. Nathans, the best hot dog restaurant in the world (want someone to present a better frank otherwise), was finished off by the economic crisis so I didn't get that option. I'm glad that Pollo Tropical was still around and there are more restaurants. Food rocked but for Rin's first experience, she got very disgusted and felt that she was disrespected by the Haitian clerk that took our order. I guess she was right but I didn't care because I wanted my chicken. I took her to a steak-n-shake and got her a chocolate shake to shut her up. lol

Here's where the withdrawls come in. My folks don't believe in hi-speed internet (except my Dad's 3G iphone), so I was out of luck for most internet access until I could go to a cafe or steal someone else's internets. I never thought to get so bored, that I actually started to study for a speech CLEP, which is good because I don't have to take a class along with 2 other classes that I'm going to take next week.

There were 2 more spots we needed to see before we left. First, Rin and I checked out the Morikami museum in West Palm Beach. I couldn't believe that I haven't heard about that garden when I lived there as it was definatly a sight to see. Pics will come soon on my Myspace and Facebook and there will be a S-ENT episode. Since ARTafterDARK I haven't seen such beautiful Japanese artwork. Finally, we got invited to check out Chibi-Pa later that weekend. We've only went for a day and got to see some folks from Mizucon. The con wasn't really one of the better cons that we've gone to as the organization is ass, scheduling is ass, and the rave had some stipulations (no shoes and paint party). I don't know if this was good or bad though but Yaoi and Hentai was listed as 21+ but it was really 18+. Doesn't make a difference for me except that I'm not into Yaoi-sex but Rin was furious when she got denied hardcore Yaoi. We decided to bail early that night and go to bed on time for once that week. The good things about Chibi-pa though, ultra-awesome artist alley, got to see killer bands (S.S. Hanabi, and J*Scape), and Furries were a huge focus at that convention. I was greatful that I got to connect with a lot of people there. Oh, I forgot to mention that I got interviewed by W4CY's anime radio show Fanbase. I don't know if it was aired already but Fanbase can be caught every Thursday at 4:00PM EST at www.w4cy.com. Yep, the great work at the cons.

Rin and I are back home now trying to enjoy the rest of my week off. My TMD has subsided and my jaw-pain is disappearing. Let's see how long it will be once I get back to work that it'll come back. I'm glad that my health improved from this vacation, hopefully it'll hold me for another year. Earlier I said we were trying to enjoy my vacation, but today my brother Matt flew in today. Let's just say, he bit off some of Rin's Meatball sub and he's sleeping on my bed. Spare the baretta, spoil the brother I guess. I have to give it to him, he bought us Dissidia.

Oh yea...and even though it is 9/9/09, the GAME ended a long time ago and only 2 people have actually won it, Chuck Norris, and Me!. :P

Somehow I manage to find the time to post here on Sunday night. Perhaps a routine that I've started. Well in case I missed it or folks haven't... Ok It's Monday. I'm not allowed to explain how that happened but figure I'd fill in. Well after more papers for college and letting Rin's brother spend Saturday with us, my schedule is at a constant overwhelming. I should be in bed right now but realize that I have to post on University of Phoenix forums. Well to cut to the chase, my Kia's starter quit so I had to get it turned in today. Hopefully I'll get it back this week. Well that's it, may post tomorrow if there's time. kthnxbye.

Yes. If you are going to post your stuff where the whole world can see...well, the whole world is going to see it. Even though right now no one, not even myself, gets on LJ anyway but might as well make the effort to direct traffic here since this is the only good blog site I know. Well without talking a lot of garbage, I have decided that I will not reenlist. I have been going back and forth into this but if anyone read my last myspace blog a few months ago , peeps can see why I've decided to move on into the a wilder blue yonder. Wilder because there is more of my destiny for me to control, and a lot more variables to work with. I personally don't agree with getting in trouble for something I had the right to do so that pretty much gave away the clue for me to fold my hand. I guess my stress issues have gotten a little better since realizing what I really have and what to look forward to has rebuilt my confidence and I've become reinspired by other people's accomplishments and education that I obtain from my current business classes. So yea I've made my mind up and if anyone wants to sell it to me again, Shame Shame Shame.

Yesterday, I finally got to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen again and really I'm glad that there can be a 2 hr and 40 min piece of explosive-heavy cinema. What ever happened to those days where I would be 5 years old and see Terminator 2 and Last Action Hero to become part of my culture, now I'm lucky if I ever go to a theater or even watch TV again. After the movie Rin and I had dinner with her folks and of course I did the usual shop talking...you know, I realize that I am a very public guy. I keep very good secrets about everyone else but I sing about myself so much, ahh A.D.D...anyway. After dinner we've invited them to my crib for the first time, also the first time that it's ever been really clean. We got a coffee table and Rin has already turned it into her workstation (I get the comfty bed).

Today Rin and I slept until 1300 and went grocery shopping together for the first time. Her excuse to why she doesn't cook is because I don't have anything she can cook with (she didn't ask me to keep that a secret). I let her take control of what to buy and it was a very different list than what I usually get. Well with my busy schedule, I'll eat anything she makes and by the sound of what she can make, it all sounds very yummy. I spent the rest of the day writing my paper about Transaction Processing Systems for Business Systems class and actually learned about TPS just after writing it. Didn't realize that people were such a vital ingredient for TPS after people in general has pissed me off the last week .

My job deals with people, some give me a hard time and enough that causes me to get lockjaw, chest pains, narcolepsy, and night terrors. One Friday some turd almost head-on hit me after I merged to another lane, apparently this guy wasn't paying attention and he got really close so I had to speed up to avoid him. He got to my right and started yelling a series of obscenities, I just did a courteous ACK wave and ignored him but then he did a sharp-cut off ahead of me. I found out he worked on base and when knew that he told the guard on me when I got on. I never got so furious to the point that I was yelling and hollering about curb-stomping someone just as a retired 4-star general was a few feet away from the auditorium booth that I was in. +4 on the people who engineered that sonofafish. I ended up calming down since it wasn't such an impacting event and it reminded me that it was actually funny that my 2 and 3 year old cousins can be more mature that some of the adults I know. There were definetly not a lot of shows on PBS that teach "Please" and "Thank You" if that's the case. Hate should be a culture, not an emotion. Yes I hate Johnny Depp and the Twilight Saga because I'm tired of a bunch of 14 year old fangirls obsessing over some vampire/pirate yaoi, and I'm not even going to get started on Harry x Cedric shippings, but I don't hate Johnny Depp that I want to do hate crime related beatings like they did to DJ Keoki at a certain Vegas nightclub. Think Player-hater's Ball hate, not America's Most Wanted hate.

Well I realized that even in writing I ramble on too much and I called back Sam in the middle of this. I'm off now to get my uniform ready for tomorrow and lurk on the net some more. I just hope this antisocial attitude I'm starting to pick up doesn't manifest because I don't want to upset the innocent Mizucon fans in 3 weeks in some PTSD flashback.

This is not going to be a faggot-emo post. This is a serious query about how my job is deteriorating my health. Work hasn't been too bad lately since most of the offenders are on vacation so I was FREE to actually do MY job. Mostly is catch up on things that have been dropped due to higher priorities. Most of this actually leaks into my off-time and that combined with college really screws my schedules, leaving me only 4 hours of sleep a night. I finally caught up with the most important things until I was told to unlock a password to a device I've never been trained on offsite...yea I'll leave that up to you guys on why that logic is fellatious...phallus...fallacious...you know what I mean. I should publish a book on malapropisms because I always talk about situations like these. "Life is like one big donkey show, you never know what you're gonna get".

I also just realized that any sandwich is awesome if you have hoagie bread and muenster cheese. Only problem is that I am diagnosed with TMZ (Temporomandibular Disorder) I call it TMZ in order to be cute. So yea I can't have big things put into my mouth. lol-oww. I guess it kind of helps me get on a diet maybe but I was told that my TMD was caused by a lot of stress passing affecting my teeth. Well that's a bit of a no-brainer. Hopefully I get better soon because I'm probably going to be due to voice act a machinima soon and sing at Izumicon's Karaoke Competition - ANIME IDOL. I'm really excited for Izumicon but a few months before that, Rin and I will be in Miami for Mizucon and to visit my folks. Hopefully they will learn to welcome her a lot more so I can finally tell them that I'm marrying her---they don't get on the internet. I'm also due for a really long vacation so hopefully I'll get that or I go India Gulf on some bitches, don't give a Foxtrot.

Well I'm about to drop dead-tired on the floor so I'm gonna close this. One of my old supervisors is driving by here as he and his folks are on their way to Disney World so hopefully I'll probably have a lot to talk about then and introduce wifey. So yea I'm gonna play with some free stuff right now. 'night yall

You know how Mondays are usually the worst day of the week for some people, well for me it's Tuesday. Somehow, everyone in the world is on their period on Tuesdays because I'm getting the blunt force of volume by a bunch of idiots as they try to yell at and over me. Ironically that today I was studying about stress, its side-effects, and how to cope with it. I think psychologists and anyone that works in the psychology field is useless because their words are just a placebo to the problem. Just because they can tell me that everything is going to be alright does not fix 20 computers from falling off the network at the same time. Telling me that I should get more sleep does not fix a broken audio system during a graduation where the guest of honor is a General. mod edit: we're all happy now

oh yea me DJing at f.y.e was win. shit was so cash. Thanx Cash. pics will be up on myspace soon.

Well it's been a pretty busy but bleh week. If I haven't mentioned already, I am back in school full-time so my time is really short until the next year or so. Work is the same chaotic donkey show that it's always been. Nothing exciting happens in the morning, and then all of a sudden everyone has a noob session 30 minutes before work ends. I've been finding I'm in the same vicious sleeping disorder cycle that I was in last year where I pass out for 3 hours when I get off work, wake up really late to do schoolwork, and then end up going to bed at 0100. I was spending a lot of time trying to get work done earlier in the week as I have a Sushicrowd meeting tomorrow and a DJ gig at f.y.e. on Sunday. Fun that Rin was in gear to clean the house for the meeting as we both blasted different music and cleaned different parts of the crib, (after a short nap of course). I kind of felt a lot of awesome after it got cleaned because the place smelled fresh, felt cool, and had some kind of zen high from the feng shui or something. Well right now I'm producing the first episode for Rin's Corner and trying to knock out my psych paper on the character development of Marshall Mathers (YES! EMINEM!). Perfect one to write about huh? Hopefully I can get it all done before tomorrow so I can worry about practicing for my gig.

Next week should be a bigger break than the last few weeks as I only have one assignment, but I start my business systems class the following week. I figure that'd be my chance to take Rin out on a nice date before I get beat up by the busy monster. I hope lots of people come out to the show on Sunday, details on my myspace at www.myspace.com/sephihakubiofficial. I may write tomorrow in this but now I got to write about a crazy white boy. Peace homies!

So today I had a serious case of the Mondays. Today sucked harder than other days because everyone wanted something that I couldn't give them. In case no one knows the story, I am a Client Support Technician (Computer bitch) doing desktop support and a bunch of other things that are far from being my job. Every half hour someone comes into my office and wants this, that, bitch bitch bitch. Granted some folks were patient with me and that's cool, but others get too impatient and it's beyond my control. I swear my potential son or daughter right now is more mature than these eff'ers. 1 more year and I can grow out my Austin 3:16 goatee.

It's 11:30PM and got done reading a chapter for psych class. Going to bed early cuz I have some class I can't say on the net tomorrow. 'night night y'all.

Oh yea, Anime Alabama Part 4 is up on Sushicrowd's Youtube now.

Hey LJ. Today I turned 23 and I realize that it was the worst birthday I ever had...and it's entirely my fault. I've spent most of the weekend working on fixing a bunch of sites that were on the way to the graveyard, some tasks at work that leaked into my off time, and school work. Why I say it's my fault is because I'm burning myself out now so that I don't have to later. I'm thinking about getting out of the Air Force when my contract ends but I want to make sure I get my Bachelor's degree first. I actually wrote about something like this on my psych paper, something about different kinds of motivations. I used to be motivated interactively, but now its becoming more of a biological need (work to survive). It was made apparent to me that if I go to school throughout the year without taking a break, I can get it done. Hopefully I won't burn out too much as I still need to support my career on the internets as an anime icon. Mizucon is coming up soon and following that is Izumicon. I plan on putting on another awesome original show at Izumicon, hopefully I can still do it since there's a karaoke competition now, and my skit is singing. What is bad is that Izumicon's Anime Idol has the same rules as Kawaii Kon Karaoke Kompetition (preliminary rounds=localfags only) :( On top of being burnt out, I got stung by a wasp on my left temple and it hurt like hell, thought I was gonna die or something...Dunno, never got stung before. Yep, I didn't get to practice my anime DJ set like I wanted to today. With any luck, I'll try to get my schoolwork done early so I can make it to f.y.e. one of these afternoons to do a site survey for my DJ gig next Sunday. Perhaps my b-day celebration will be postponed til then. Well at least Rin's friends on XBox Live sang happy birthday to me.

PS: Check out my new site: sephihakubi.com. ^.^